How is it that Kim Kardashian’s ass looks well, normal sized in these pictures of her walking the streets in a little skirt? Is it just a flattering outfit or did I resize the images wrong so they’re stretched? I’m both confused and titillated at the same time, like when a stripper offered to give me a free lap dance. Don’t worry I didn’t fall for that one either. Anyhow, I think she looks hot and would like to take her for a walk around my neighborhood. Yes, a walk, we can even hold hands.

I don’t mean to say that Heroes star Ali Larter has a fat ass, she’s just loading up her trunk with groceries, that’s all. Although from this angle those tights seem to be working pretty damn hard to contain all that goodness. Is Heroes even still on the air? I guess it doesn’t really matter. On another note, her boobs look pretty damn good, I could get use to starring at those things while I do my calisthenics. Enjoy.

I’m beginning to think that Amanda Seyfried doesn’t read this crap I write everyday or even know this website exists for that matter because she continues to cover up those secret boobs I like so much, but rarely ever get to see. It’s not very nice of her considering I’ve only ever said nice things about her and her boobs, so why the cold shoulder? I’m not asking for bikini pictures, although they would be nice, but a tight tank top or something wouldn’t kill anybody. I can’t be the only one who wants to see this, let’s get the ball rolling with a nice tight t-shirt… Maybe with a tuna on it? Don’t be shy Amanda, hit me up on Twitter and we’ll discuss.

Obviously Carrie Underwood isn’t showing off the puppies most of us would like to see, but I guess a real puppy dog is pretty cute and slightly more appropriate for an event hosted by Pedigree. She still looks pretty good, even without the boobs, now if only we can get her to an event hosted by a more appropriate company like Hooters or Dirty Pete’s Boobie Bungalow we’d be in business. Enjoy.

After yesterday’s amazing shots of Cameron Diaz on the set of her new movie in a pair of tiny little denim short shorts, showing off her legs and making last nights’ dreams a whole lot more interesting, I have to say that I’m very disappointed in today’s pictures. Here she is with her smoke dangling from her lip like a career stripper who’s been around the block a few dozen times and who’s now been demoted to bartender. Disgusting. I know she’s in her late thirties so I shouldn’t be surprised that every picture isn’t a winner, but come on… The short shorts… Remember? It seems like so long ago now.

Here’s Jennifer Aniston at yet another Bounty Hunter premiere looking well, like she always looks, plain. I’m starting to get a little sick of this, everywhere I look there’s Jennifer just standing there in a boring dress, not flashing any cleavage, not giving us a peek up her skirt, not even licking her lips or making sexy faces… Just standing there. She’s so dull, no wonder she can’t keep a man. I bet in bed she just lies there like a starfish. Not that I wouldn’t want to have my way with that starfish, but she needs to spice things up a little. We know she’s got a good body, we’ve seen it in her bikini, give us something. Even just a tighter dress… Anything, I’m begging you.

It’s no secret that Tila Tequila has been going through so personal issues over the last few decades months so I don’t want to judge her too much for her strange behavior. That being said, what the hell is this crap all about? Here she is at the grocery store the other day flashing her ass every chance she gets in her weird ‘barely there’ dress. I shouldn’t complain, because I like Tila’s ass, but this is just sad. I guess there are worse ways to get attention, she could have a fake pregnancy and fake miscarriage. At least this way we get some ass shots.

I really like this Ashley Greene chick, even if she was in that Twilight garbage I won’t hold it against her, we’ve all done things in our past we care to forget. Some more obese bigger than others. Anyhow here she is looking hot walking the streets one sunny afternoon. I like the way she’s running her fingers through her hair, so hot, I wish I could help her brush it before bed. Hmmm, that sounded a hell of a lot less creepy in my head. I take it back, instead I’d like to stuff a pillow with the left over hair from the salon so I can smell her while I sleep. That’s better.

It seems to be a slow day today at Hollywoodtuna so all I’ve got for now are a few shots of Girls Aloud hottie Sarah Harding at some British event I’ve never heard about. She’s no Cheryl Tweedy, but she’ll do in a pinch. Like when Cheryl doesn’t want to spend a few hours with me covered in honey sticking cut-out pictures of kitty cats on each others naked bodies. Actually, if I can find any woman to do that with me it would be great to finally scratch that crap off my bucket list.

Ashley Tisdale is by no means an attractive woman, she’s actually pretty ugly if you ask me, so I’m not sure why I’m posting pictures of her in her period outfit. I’m still a little sick and after looking at this post I’m pretty sure I drank way too much cough medicine before deciding this was a good idea. I guess it’s too late now, at least if there were some ass shots we’d have something good to look at, those boobs are more like sip-sacks than funbags. So disappointing.